Friday, September 15, 2017

All I Really Need to Know...I Learned in My Abuela's Kitchen


The simple understated wisdom of a Mexican Abuelita must never be underestimated. An Abuela's tacit persuasive powers are hypnotic and a granddaughter might not notice the full extent of those ancestral powers until years later when the need for them arises. It is then that a powerful spiritual force takes over from within if one listens in the quiet stillness to the guidance embedded in a memory. The key is to listen with an open heart allowing familiar instincts to take over, after processing those gut feelings thru the soul and noticing how good they feel.

An Abuelita's guidance shows up during unexpected moments and instances, it can be prompted by a toddlers tug of one's pants while making dinner. A tug reminding a Mother to take things slow and enjoy her child's presence. In that moment, the fully grown grandaughter... now a mother will remember those times when hypnotized by the scents and sounds of the kitchen, she too made her way in there to observe Abuelita's comings and goings. The granddaughter might remember how, with a sweet glance and an open smile, Abuelita took pains to include her in her work, making it theirs. The granddaughter might remember how she was allowed to choose a collaborative task according to her skills an interest, a task which was real and meaningfully contributed to the final product,  adding concrete value to it once finalized. A grandaughter will remember how those skills flourished under Abuelita's nurturing understated guidance. A granddaughter will remember to do the same with her child as she makes dinner.

A granddaughter will remember how the taste of that experience increased her eagerness to contribute an belong to the family's cooking circle whenever it gathered. A granddaughter will remember how her skills "magically" improved as she tried to keep up with the Aunts, Sisters, and Cousins working together to create communal happiness thru the food prepared for all. A granddaughter will remember how the efforts of teamwork made huge tasks seem manageable. A granddaughter will remember her own daughter needs those meaningful feelings when learning something new and will seek or create those learning opportunities for her child.
The granddaughter will remember the amenable shared leadership of the elders around her and how that leadership included her too, allowing her to have opinions and make choices. "Does this need more salt? Should we make more? Do you think it will be enough?" All questions she too had a valid say on. All questions which found her answers valid. All dilemmas she was allowed to solve using her own initiative. The flexibility, fluidity and collaborative calm of those communal situations leave an imprint and a longing. Making granddaughters thirsty and eager to replicate them whenever surrounded by other women. Sometimes more successfully than others.
After those experiences alongside an Abuelita, a granddaughter always remembers how to share responsibilities when creating something, how to share information and skills with others to achieve a final product, how to keep up or slow down one's working pace to maintain a group's rhythm. A granddaughter remembers how to seek guidance from the circle of communal workers, who at once become communal teachers and students depending on the task or the stage of the task. A granddaughter remembers communication is part of coordination and guidance and it can come from anywhere within the cooking circle and be equally valued.
Is that not everything a granddaughter needs to know to raise a child?






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